A letter from my e-mail bag:

This is a great topic for us to comment on. As a new member of the FLR lifestyle, he asks a few questions.

Please consider when you started in your FLR/FemDom relationship, what would be your reply be and if interested post your thoughts.

I think many of us can learn together with some open dialog.

Below is his question was my response.

I’ve just entered a new relationship and my gf and I are thinking of incorporating some elements of a FLR-led life into our relationship –I’ve stopped masturbating and begun practicing semen retention. Our plan is to have her milk my prostate either with her fingers or with a strap-on (but no ejaculation) a couple times a week. We’ll still have sex regularly and I’ll service her orally –but I just can’t ejaculate unless she says so. Partially the theory is I’ll be harder (and stay harder) for longer as a result of adopting this routine (and the number of her orgasms will increase of course). Is there any advice you’d give to a couple starting this journey?

Thank you for your wisdom,

My answer, I was in the Dr’s office and commented from my phone, Sorry in advance for improper grammar, etc.

Thanks for the e-mail question.

Ok, so you are going to attempt a semi FLR relationship?

Semen retention is not my expertise but Femdom is. I think if you are new to this starting with prostate milking it  is probably not going to last for very long. It is actually a lot of work to milk it. There is also a learning curve to it. It’s not easy to master the technic. Also it can and usually is messy unless you do an enema. All of which tells me it’s not a good starter task for new relationships. Also it makes all the work about and to you, the work should be you do everything for Her. I am not into cock cages because my husband is very obedient about wasting his load with masturbation but if you cannot be disciplined enough to keep you cum in you until She authorizes a release then a cock cage may be needed to lock you up.

A better starting point is to ask Her what She wants to receive from you. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, foot rubs, learning to give her a pedicure, making sure you learn how to provide her with orgasms when She needs them, not the way you want it but the way she needs it. It will take months to learn Her needs working together. Maybe She will enjoy you on your knees in front or her in your living room kissing Her feet while pleading how much you love and adore Her.

Let me know what you are going to do for Her, it cannot be about you anymore if you are serious.

Most people are not interested anymore after hubby sees FLR is not a temporary sex game, but a way of life.

Some pictures of service from my sub, you will need to understand its for the Woman, not your sex drive anymore.

D

11 thoughts on “A FLR email Question

  1. I thought your answer was spot on Dorinda! I wouldn’t want to be milked because of the mess. Sometimes my Queen will peg me, but I do undergo an enema beforehand to minimize the mess! However to do that regularly would be a royal pain. I’m 90 days since my last orgasm and I’m still horny and eager to please. I don’t need to be milked to maintain those feelings. I think this couple are moving in a wonderful direction! I wish them success!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Michael:
      Thank you for the comments and your valued opinion.
      I am enjoying posts that are FLR topics from others that we can all look at and talk about. I don’t know, I enjoy views of others. I do not have anyone to bounce ideas off of and get any feedback. I include my husband in the comment. He is hopelessly submissive now and can not even contemplate discussing the issues.
      D

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I don’t consider myself an expert on FLR/Femdom, but I am living in a semi FLR (far less developed than Dorinda’s or some other posters’ relationships), but here is my humble opinion.

    BTW, thank you again Dorinda for maintaining this first-rate blog and for offering your valuable experience and down-to-the-earth wisdom.

    First, prostate milking is nothing but forced semen extraction without orgasm, so it is exactly the opposite of semen retention. I find it very submissive and insanely erotically humiliating activity so I understand why this guy would like to receive it. I would like my Wife to do it to me sometimes, but She doesn’t and not because of the possibility of the mess. I also don’t think that regular messing (not a pun) with the prostate (he said they plan to do it several times a week??) could be healthy, probably quite the opposite.

    I assume his desire for FLR/Femdom is sexually motivated (mine totally is). For me having no control of our sex and my sexual releases in particular is essential. My Wife first forced me to drop masturbation to improve my performance in bed, then She gradually took control of our sex completely. I have less than 5% of orgasms I used to be getting up to four years ago (most from masturbation), She is now geting far more. Lack of orgasms makes me perpetually horny and more obedient, ready and more willing to please. I learned to enjoy my Wife’s orgasms as my own. I crave to give them to her, the feeling is close to orgasmic for me when I make her cum. She knows how much I like to spend my time with my face burryed between her legs, how addicted I am to her scents and tastes and She uses this to tease me and to drive me crazy and to get whatever She wants. And to punish by not allowing me the access. This really hurts (I even cried), more than any corporal punishment could. I know She enjoys this power over me and I enjoy Her pussy-whipping.

    But it is not all about sex, far from it. He needs to find the way to cater to Her needs, to cherish Her and spoil Her, to really make a difference. I don’t always enjoy when I do what She orders (doing the dishes or laundry is not erotic no matter what for me, unless I do it naked or with spanked bottom or for example with a large butt plug in my rectum), but it is the price I willingly pay. Happy, relaxed and satisfied Woman is more likely to give you what you crave. She will never give you as much as you want, and that is the magic of it, to be perpetually “hungry” (but not starving, unless you deserve it as a punishment) for more sexual attention but only getting it when She feels like it and as much as She wants to give.

    My Wife still does house chores, many times more than me, but in general we have always shared the work (with me being the major provider and working much longer hours than Her at job it would be impossible otherwise). But there are several chores that I do now that I didn’t before and most importantly, I have several that are personal services to Her that She really likes and directly benefits from and that I find erotic and hence like doing them, many times with a hard on at least at the beginning. Just an example; I have a huge foot fetish (for pretty and well maintained Female feet, not just my Wife’s). The following activities all excite me (to erection and precum) and my Wife expects them to be done regularly: cleaning and polishing her shoes (every day), providing foot rubs and massages, pedicures, foot baths, doing toe nails, hand-washing her stockings, buying Her stockings and socks, acting as Her foot servant when we go shopping for new shoes. In addition, to satisfy my fetish (and to exercise Her dominance) She lets me worship, kiss, lick and smell Her feet and worn stockings or socks. We both benefit, but She is in charge and I love it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. OMG Tom:
      This is as if my husband wrote this, this is almost word for word of what he feels about me.
      I actually asked him (he does not know of my blog and e-mail relationships) (he never will) about his masterbation habits past and present the other night. His answer was quite amazing to me. When he was 20-40, he often masterbated 2 or more times a day, including in the restroom at work, just to relieve his internal pressure.
      I had no idea because he would still take me and make love to me almost every night, lol and in the morning, so some time’s I was his third orgasm of the day!
      Today though, he likes to feel horny therefore he wants to save his cum for me. His obedience does not change after release, he says that now if he cums his hornyness goes away for awhile. He is feeling like not as much of a man in his mind. My view is he equates libido to manhood. He is crazy but honest. He likes to get so horny that he drips, and leave it at that for a while.
      I don’t mind making him cum 3 times a day, he can still be completely submissive but its choice.
      I could force him to but why would I want to fuck up his mind, let him feel like a man, he is my man. I love to make him cum for me, I am his wife still.
      Anyway he is great orgasm provider day and night as well as all the other things a perfect husband is.
      D

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Good morning Dorinda.
        Masturbating several times a day, even at work and to release stress, in addition to sex – it sounds exactly like me in my younger years 🙂 I used masturbation to fall asleep sometimes. I discovered masturbation when I was about five (yes, really). I think it was by accident, through scratching the itchx area after medical circumcision and I liked it. I really was a serial masturbator up to four years ago. The only period in my adult life of really reduced masturbation was when I started dating my Wife and until She was in Her late pregnancy. We had so much sex in the early years… We fucked at every opportunity, my Wife’s libido surpassed mine and I was in sexual heaven. Then with the years passing, the frequency of sex went gradually down and my masturbation sky-rocketed again. Until 4 years ago.

        Unlike Your husband, my mood and obedience attitude unfortunately do decline a little after orgasm. I am aware of that and I fight it, maybe I can improve with years. The most obvious attitude change (which I try to curb if I am aware of it, but in the heat of the moment I forget my resolve) is that I get more argumentative, grumpy, and I talk back more. Maybe that’s why my otgasms were cut down so much last year (I didn’t ask, She didn’t explain). I had only two in January and none in February. And yes, I also feel less manly after orgasms, having a limp useless penis does that to me. Perpetual hornyness is better on so many levels… Yet I want to cum so desperately… Totally crazy, I know.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. People always assume that using something for which it was not designed will result in no harm. I don’t agree. Prostate milking is ok in occcsaion, just like carefully prepared anal sex. But constant use will eventually casue issues in all but the rarest cases.

    I completely agree with Dorinda on this. Most men start with what THEY want. I think thisis the case in this email as well.

    Take a step back. Ask sincerely what SHE wants and DO THAT.

    That is the real meaning of a FLR.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. We don’t do prostate milking because I dislike it. We also find that the use of a male chastity device controls not only his orgasms but his erections and any self induced pleasure. A orgasm about once a month is a earned reward for good behavior.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Dorinda,
    Your rely, as collaredmichael said, is right on.
    They should work gradually on increasing time between his orgasms. Last year was the first full year my wife started seriously limiting my orgasms. I had 36 and half were accidental releases. This year I’m doing much better. BTW I gave up masturbating solo years ago. Occasionally I will but I usually stop way before I feel the need to cum because it just is not as special as it is with my wife in the mix.
    They may consider punishments for cumming without permission to put some weight behind it. It does not have to be physical. It could be manual labor or conditioning by writing lines “I will not cum without permission.” My wife makes me extend her foot massages for a week when I have an accident. She says I took away some of her pleasure in controlling me and she wants something back in return.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi Dorinda,
    I met a woman at a FemDom munch who claimed to have her husband trained to “cum on command”. She said the poor guy could go for hours and would hold off until he was given the OK to orgasm. The husbands who were hearing this conversation all looked pretty sheepish including my own.
    Speaking of my own the boy has been in chastity from the first of January except for a few special occasions. He knows that after a period of time I get restless for cock and this makes him nervous and anxious to keep me satisfied and happy. As a result he is very eager to give foot service ass licks and of course his lovely vaginal worship.

    Janyne

    Liked by 1 person

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