I wanted to share a blog I recently came across, I started looking for real FLR and or Femdom blogs after a follower asked if I knew any other blogs like mine.

 One thing for sure, most are commercialized and somehow you buy a book or pay for something, there seem to be only a handful that are a real FLR oriented and Women authoring the posts.

  This one is very good; It is full of instructions,observations, links to Her favorite blogs, etc. She has at least 4 years of posting on it. What I like is She Loves Her husband like I do, We manage our husbands for their well being and a harmonious household, and of course our sexual pleasure..

Here is a post, a sampling of Her wonderful writing style and how She articulates Her detailed thoughts on FLR issues. This post rang true in my heart,hopefully yours too..

Please visit Mz Kaylee at Her blog  http://femdomthinktank.blogspot.com


Decision Making: Leading versus Dictating

Frequently people mistakenly assume that in a Female Led Relationship (FLR) or Wife Led Marriage (WLM)  the wife makes all the decisions in the relationship and the husband has no say at all. Then there are those who take it a step further and assume that because the wife makes all the decisions, she is only going to make decisions that are best for her, without any care for what the husband wants. These are big misconceptions. I have written on the topic of decision making in a FLR in the past but a recent comment on the I’m Her’s blog made me want to revisit the topic. The comment was under the post “United We Stand, Divide We Fall” in July 2017.The reader posed several questions in a few comments, but below is an excerpt that I think captures the essence of the concern”

“..the question always remains how do you know that your partner is correct or right and does blind following of their decisions really lead you as the individual to a better place in life? Will you be a happier partner by following their decisions or will you only be happy for the short term since it suits the dominant partner when they want it to suit them?”

FLR is a complex concept and different thinking compared to traditional marriage and there is a ton of bad advice and incorrect information on the subject so it is easy to be confused about the roles and responsibilities in the FLR. Let’s start with the “L” in FLR and WLM. It stands for ‘led’ which makes the wife the leader of there relationship. A leader is not the same as dictator.  At times, a leader may dictate orders when he/she feels it is in the best interest of the organization (or marriage in this case) but great leaders bring people together and motivate them to excel toward a certain vision. They are good at identifying the strengths and unique abilities of each individual and leveraging those strengths and abilities to help achieve the vision. Those that follow the leader look to her/him for direction, guidance, and motivation. Good leaders inspire people to want to follow them and achieve the vision. A good leader knows the strengths and abilities of each individual and strikes the right balance between empowering her/his followers to do things for her/him versus dictating and making decisions on her/his own.

Those same principles can be applied to the FLR/WLM. In the FLR, the wife has the right to final say in all decisions but she does not have to exercise that right all the time. If there are strengths that her husband has, the best thing she can do is utilize those strengths to help make the right decisions. For example, my husband is very good with finances and money. Therefore if we are going to make a big purchase that requires a loan or if we want to start saving money, he is the one that will figure out the best way to do it.  I may ask him questions or ask him to explore other options. I will expect him to explain his logic but I am pretty much going to agree with what he recommends because he knows more than I do when it comes to finances. 

Likewise, he is great at planning activities. When it comes to vacation I will usually lean on him to do all the research and come up with ideas for vacation,suggestions for hotels, car rentals. etc. I know he will do a good job with it and it saves me time. However, he is not allowed to book anything until we discuss his ideas. During this discussion I will add my input and we will decide together about what to do.  Many times it ends up being different than what his original suggestion was.  If there is ever a difference of opinion that can not be resolved, I get the final say.  He is fine with this as it is part of the deal that he bought into with FLR. In the end we plan a vacation that we both will enjoy. I would not want to plan a vacation that he would not enjoy because that would take away from my enjoyment.

Hopefully you can see that this is not ‘blind’ following, which was a concerning the comment at the beginning of this post.  I am seeking input from my husband when it comes to the big decisions and often times relying on his recommendations.  In no way does this take away my control or influence over him. In fact, this makes me an even stronger leader as I am making him work for me so that I can make better decisions.  The difference between this and a traditional marriage is that there is an expectation that he can not make big decisions on his own and that I get the final approval and final say on what is to be done. 

Something else to not lose sight of is the reason why the wife married the husband. I can’t speak for others but I chose my husband because I enjoy hanging out with him, we have similar ideals, he is supportive of me,intelligent and my best friend. I do not want that to change. I call him slave but that is more for fun. In reality I do not want a mindless slave that just obeys and waits for the next command. I want a husband who is a great companion. Part of that companionship is making big decisions together such as what house to buy, how to remodel the kitchen, and where to go on vacation. In essence, this could be considered the vision that I follow when making decisions(but my marriage vision would encompass much more such as healthy family,supporting kids, etc.). With that perspective it would not make sense for me to expect my husband to blindly follow me and it would not make sense for me to impose rules or make decisions that would leave him completely unhappy.

There may be some women who take a bolder stance on decision making. Every couple is different and for some people a more dictator type approach may work.However, in my opinion, the more extreme/dictator approach the wife takes, the less likely the marriage will remain stable and happy in the long-run. In this extreme case I would agree with the comment at the beginning of this post, that happiness would be short-lived. 

It is also important to recognize differences in peoples abilities and that life is one great learning experience. A younger wife, new to FLR  may not be a strong leader but that should not stop her from embarking on a FLR. There are many different flavors of FLR. She does not have to start out having complete authority over her husband. She can start with small areas that she is comfortable with and increase her breadth of authority over time as she learns and her confidence builds. That’s pretty much how it happened with me. My guess is that it is rare to find someone that just jumped in and knew all the right things to do. There is nothing stopping an inexperienced wife from growing into a strong leader.  I disagree with the notion that if a person is not a leader or not dominate that they can not be turned into a leader or dominant person. If they have the desire, the right environment, and encouragement they can change over time. The husband should support her in this endeavor. If the wife makes a mistake or bad decision, then an  apology will suffice.Nobody is perfect. Mistakes and decisions are where we learn the most and when we learn from them it makes us better individuals.

A final thought that I will leave with you is that FLR is a journey that both husband and wife embark on together.  For a FLR to flourish there must be trust, compassion, and love from both husband and wife.  

This is a complex topic that can often cause stress or confusion in a relationship so please chime in with your thoughts or questions.  I expect that people will have different views on this so I am looking forward to the discussion.

-Mz Kaylee

He is always taking care of my personal needs

25 thoughts on “The Femdom Think Tank Blog

  1. The Think Tank Blog is one of the best you will find about FLR’s on the internet, and I have looked at quite a few.
    I have read every post by Mz Kaylee, and would recommend any woman interested in female led relationships to read it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Ron:
      Welcome back.
      I agree, Mz Kaylee is a very good illustrator, I visualize and feel every word She says. Maybe because I see the similarities in my husbands behavior, and maybe sense She may go thru the same struggles I go thru as a Wife.
      She has a lot more experience than I have and She Dominates Her husband differently than I do but I believe we both control our marriages, I believe both of our husbands need and thrive on our leadership. We both understand the importance of our roles in our family’s.
      I follow many blogs, I have a few favorites but really none like mine, many are men’s perspective from a submissive point of view. Some of the Women I follow are very masochistic, I love their blog but don’t fully relate. I relate to Hers more so then any other.
      D

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Our relationship is similar to yours. My wife has the final word, but she will ask my opinion on many things. She wants me to handle all the investments, but I keep her up to date on everything. On vacation, she wants me to do all the planning, because she knows it’s something I enjoy doing, and she doesn’t.
    In her decision making, she is very thoughtful of others, including me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Cincy:
      Thank you for reading and replying..
      I think a long term FLR needs partnership, love, understanding and patience.
      Why not use your husband for his abilities? I believe this is not a double standard but another bonus, although I write mainly about the sexual part of the relationship, there is a lot more than that, as indicated in your reply.
      D

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Michael:
      Thank you for your comment. Agreed, I can not follow it ether since it is a blogspot blog. That is one nice thing we have being on WordPress. I found it by a google search..
      I hope all is well with Queen and family.. Happy Holiday Season to you all.
      D

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I had never heard of this Femdom Think Tank blog until you mentioned it. I have just put it my favorites file so I should be able to access it at anytime.
    Before we were married Wet Spot took me to a femdom munch. It was the first time I ever met and interacted with women who identified as “Dominant”. It was extremely enlightening and entertaining I still am in touch with some of those ladies.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Janyne:
      I hope all is well with you and wet spot.
      This is a great beginner or site for ideas about FLR, not so much on FemDom in my opinion. You will probably not get much out of it as your are already both persuasions.
      I enjoy Her writing abilities and her incite in the male mind set..
      D

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  4. Dear Dorinda,
    Wet spot had some internet time this morning and found 2 rather interesting items that seemed to have him trying to swell within his little wenis cage. The first one was on a female domination site, it was from a woman who made her husband cum by pressing on his penis with her shoe. My boy likes a foot job and he loves my shoes. We are going to try that one. The other was on a cuckolding site and was about fluffing. It had thoughts from the cuck, the wife and the bull.
    I got to thinking about how much fun we can have with just our thoughts. I now can put a thought in my boys head and have him in the space I want him. When new things come along I can have him on edge. Wet spot is very concerned about cuckolding but it turns him on now if I just mention fluffing he is in that much desired space of him wanting what he doesn’t want

    Janyne

    Like

    1. Hi Janyne:
      Yes, everything is going well.
      I have not been posting or even been on line much lately. My husband had a few out of country trips and things he had to do so I have been with him; we actually just got back from Thailand 7 days ago.
      Right in to Christmas, had to get a tree, decorations up, family and business Christmas parties, a few birthdays, etc.
      Also its funny but I have posted everything he does for me and I feel like I am repeating myself every post. We are still doing the same things, he is still serving me very well, just last night I used my strap-on, and the end result of it was a great prostrate milking. As you know when you get yourself just right in him it only takes very short strokes to start the flow of his white juice, I can see very clearly when he is empty. Then I start full thrusts in and almost all the way out for a while. This always makes him very submissive for a few days. It does something to his personality and makes him almost to submissive to me.
      I will try to put up some kind of a post maybe today, but for sure this week.
      D

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lovely Dorinda, how I wish I could persuade my Wife to take me with a strap-on like that. As it is, I do insert a big butt plug under Her supervision sometimes and when She does She also makes me wear it for hours which makes it increasingly uncomfortable.

        Does your hubby take no pleasure in anal stimulation and takes the pegging only because You told him to?

        Like

        1. Hi Tom:
          He receives it because I want to be inside him every so often. He does not ask for it. In the beginning I would stimulate him with a vibrator while doing him and allow him to cum, that was all to get him to equate pleasure and orgasm with being violated by me.
          Now I do not stimulate him at all, I feel he really enjoys it because he carries an erection the entire time. After a short while he relaxes his anus and I can slide in and out fairly effortlessly. His hole is nice and stretched out now to make it easy.
          I enjoy the milking part now; it took me a very long time to figure that out.
          I get a lot of mental enjoyment looking into his eyes, and French kissing him deeply as I fuck him. Here we have a complete role reversal compared to a normal vanilla marriage.
          D

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Hi Dorinda,
            I would be surprised if he didn’t enjoy it. For me anal penetration is phyiscally extremely pleasurable, both the stretching of anus (which intensifies the feeling of orgasmic contractions to crazy high levels) and the feeling of fulness. Not to mention the feeling of deep submission when I present my hole to my Wife and She dictates how I penetrate myself.
            Curiosly enough, for me anal stimulation without touching the penis arouses me differently from penis stimulation, If it lasts I don’t even sport ful erection.

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  5. Hi Janyne. I guess Dorinda must be busy with Her super interesting life. But I look forward to Her future posts (and Yours of course :))
    BTW, do You have a blog of Your own by any chance? I considered starting one, but I don’t think I would have enough interesting stuff to commit to posting regularly enough to warrant one, plus there is the language barrier.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi Tom, I hope she is just busy and has not abandoned us. I don’t have a blog. I am not even sure how I would start one. I would include input from the boy. Wet Spot does have computer privilege with my supervision. Before he is allowed on the computer he is placed in chastity as I suspect him of masturbation.
    What is the language barrier you speak of?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Janyne. Understood. Wet Spot could do it for You then, I for one would love to read about Your FLR. But as it is, Dorinda’s blog is an excelent outlet for all of us.

      Language barrier: English is not my first language and expressing nuanced ideas gets tricky. It would bother me. But like I said, the lack of enough interesting stuff to write about (but also discipline) would prevent me to keep the blog alive.

      I am curious, would Wet Spot really dare to masturbate against Your orders if he was not locked up? I am not locked up, but I obey the no wanking rule (unless She wants me to, rare but it happens). My Wife forced me to drop it and is very strict about it.

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        1. Thanks Dorinda, I am relived.
          I am grateful for Your blog and for the opportunity to exchange ideas here. My comment to Janyne was meant purely as an encouragement. Meaning, I would love to follow Her blog if She had one, that’s all.

          Like

        2. Hi Dorinda
          I have really enjoyed reading about you and your husband. Me and my dominant wife are fairly new to all this ,do you have any advice for my wife.

          Kind regards Steve

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          1. Hi Steven:
            Thank you stoping by and reading some of my blog.
            The only advise I have is let Her be completely free to do as she pleases.
            Many Men E-mail me looking for the answer to make their wife like me or even more dominant.
            But really, if She does not want to or has mental blocks about it She never will be like me.
            D

            Like

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