Since coming to the conclusion I am a femdom/FLR wife a few months ago, I started my own blog about it and have been doing some research on the difference between a female led relationship and femdom.

I think I am somewhere in between. I started down this path several years ago after my husband confided in me his desire to as he calls it serve me. This was very sexual then but has now bloomed to everyday life. The FLR life style seems to dictate women are superior to men therefore they control everything. I have been married to my sub husband for 25 years. We have been Dom/sub for around 3 years now, all this time I have looked at him as my equal; I believe he has looked at me as the same. He always highly respected me and my opinions, was a great lover and provider. So I don’t fit that mold but I also don’t fit the mold of a Dom that dictates only sexual favors or punishment.

I had hoped to hear from other women in this position but have not. I will continue to sort this out for myself and blog about it here.

5 thoughts on “Female Led Relationship vs Femdom

  1. Hello, I am not a dominant woman but I have been in the lifestyle for ~15 years and blogging for for 7+ years. Something of note is that the idea that FLR and Femdom are different things is a very recent idea (the divide in the community did not happen until 3-4 years ago). Previously, the terms FLR and WLM were meant to signify a 24/7 lifestyle, loving, monogamous Femdom relationship. This was to differentiate things from say, a casual play/BDSM-oriented relationship that may or may not have been exclusive or romantic.

    At some point a handful of active writers changed the meaning of the term and tried to separate it even further by removing the much of the kink and sexual aspects. You will find that the majority of writers on WordPress still treat FLR using the old definition. Blogger.com is where the majority of the new definition writers tend to reside, so on topics like this one it may be difficult to get a lot of feedback here.

    The original resources for the modern FLR are heavily rooted in the writings of Elise Sutton, Lady Misato, and to a lesser extent, Georgeann Cross. In the organized communities there is some occasional backlash against this style as it removes certain principles of consent.

    I do think it is best when people find their own way by taking the principles and ideas that they like and work for their lifestyle. If you have some hybrid form that makes you happy, that is great 🙂

    Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG thank you so much for your reply. I just know in my heart there are other women that do what I do. I would not change it and it keeps getting better each day it seems. I see his desire to please me deep in his eyes each time he looks at me. I sure wish I could help other women to understand there lives could change too. I will look into your references . Thank you for your time out of your day for replying.
      D.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You are very welcome.

        There are many women out there that practice female dominated relationships and countless flavors and variations upon them. I’m certain that you will find many that share aspects of your own marriage while others may be quite a bit different in regards to its approach and principles. You will find women who are just getting their feet wet in the lifestyle, and people who have been living it out for decades. There are those who were married beforehand for years and those with relationships that held this dynamic from the start. Each flavor will be unique in its own way, but I think it’s possible to learn things from nearly all of them. Often it is the people who have the largest differences in point of view that can be the most informative by seeing the same things in a completely different light.

        I currently follow roughly 200 blogs written by dominant women or submissive men, many of which I have read from start to finish.

        A quick note about the FLR vs. Femdom split that happened on Blogger… it created a somewhat toxic and hostile environment there, even to the extent where there were people going around and calling other authors “fakes” for “doing it wrong.” I find that sort of thing very disconcerting and detrimental to the community. If you find your way that works for you and makes you happy, embrace it even if it doesn’t cleanly fall into a label 🙂
        The way we used to describe what you have written about before the terms FLR or WLM ever existed is “24/7,” “lifestyle Femdom,” or “24/7 lifestyle Femdom,” if that helps.

        I do completely agree that many women would be much much happier by embracing some form of the lifestyle. Over the years I have helped convert over half a dozen women that I was not involved with by selling them on the strengths and merits of such an arrangement.

        As for the references I cited, Georgeann Cross is a bit harder to track down but her unpublished book can be found at: http://www.francescaspizza.com

        Take care.

        Liked by 2 people

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